Part 2 of My Initial Observations Upon Arriving in China

An extension of my first post, here are the rest of my initial observations.

Sign Here, I Already Did!

First I must say that I can’t remember ever having to sign documents in any of the foreign countries I have previously traveled to (unless you count receipts). I have had to sign customs forms but those are always done in airports where people speak English. So for all I know signing documents in China could be no different than signing documents in any number of countries. However I’m going to put my money on this being the case only in countries that use a different alphabet system than the one used in English.

When I went through the K-12 school system all important papers were to be turned in using cursive. I never really cared for cursive and it wasn’t until recently that I began making a positive effort of neatening mine up. Naturally as cursive was the form of writing for important documents, cursive was the way I wrote my name whenever I had to sign something; a norm held by most English speaking people in the US.

As mentioned though my signature needed some work, six years of working at a gas station where you were signing paper work left and right had its impact on my once lovely signature. Gone were the swooping letters and neat elegant style, instead you could always make out a J in the beginning and either a U or an N (on a good day) towards the end. In the US though it didn’t matter that generally my signature looked like “J squiggle squiggle U squiggle loop” most signatures can’t really be deciphered.

I practiced my signature quite a lot before leaving on this adventure and I found myself with an almost legible one. Anyone could read my first name, and if you knew it, you could definitely read my last name, for those who don’t know it, there’s an 80% chance. Which is up a lot from before. Yet all this hard work didn’t seem to matter, the first day I was in my new city I got scolded by the bank worker when I signed my name in cursive. She pointed to my name on my passport and said “write name” apparently in China the signature box is just there to look Western. Take it from me, write your name in print where ever it says signature.

A Picture of Efficiency – A Chinese Hospital

Even in the United States I dislike going to doctors/hospitals. I always have ever since I was a kid, definitely has something to do with my hatred of needles. Before coming to China I had to have medical exams done designed to see if I was healthy enough for a Chinese visa. Adding up all the time I spent waiting for and having the various tests it probably took 8 hours and was divided over three days. To my surprise I learned I would have to do the exams again now that I was in China in order to get my residency permit. So on my second day in China I prepared myself for a trip to the hospital. I put my mp3 player, American cell phone (in case there was wifi), and kindle all into my bag. I assumed I would be at the hospital most the day since there was six of us all together that needed to get this exam done.

It was a very pleasant surprise to find that Chinese hospitals (at least this one) are so much more efficient than any of the ones I’ve been to in America (unfortunately that is a bunch).  I didn’t have time to take a single one of the things I brought with me; we were out of the hospital within an hour. All six of us had blood tests, EKGs, blood pressure tests, and X-Rays, as well as filled out forms. I want a Chinese hospital back home!

I should also mention that we probably could have gotten out of there sooner however there were three of us who did not know any medical Chinese. So when the first one of us none Chinese speakers got to the front of the line the first minutes was simply us being yelled at in Chinese. Finally the person conducting the scan would realize that we had no idea what was going on and they would just move our bodies into whatever position the needed. It was then the goal of that first person to convey in English as quickly as possible what was expected of us to the rest of us English speakers. We could have easily been out sooner if there wasn’t a language barrier.

Ummm, Thanks for Putting That in English?

I had heard from many people who had lived or visited China to expect some bizarre English phrases on signs and T-Shirts. I quickly noticed the English phrases that don’t make sense all of the city. From “And Romantic Cohabitation And Grace Amen” to “Shush, Grass is Sleeping” there is quite the need for a good English translator in this city.

However it came to be quite the surprise to me when I found these incorrect English phrases all over campus. There are eight (that I know of) foreign English teachers currently working at this University, and foreign teachers only teach English majors. I know other students take English…. So there must be Chinese teachers who teach (and I assume speak) English here. How can it be that there are so many strange English signs around?

It Translates Milkshake

Anyone who has studied a foreign language knows that literal translations can be the worst. Since words often mean so many different things. Examples can be taken without even leaving the English language look at the phrases peppered into your everyday conversation. I know personally I’m a fan of the phrase cool beans. However if we take the literal translation I could mean slightly below room temperature beans or interesting and popular beans; where in reality what I’m saying has nothing to do with beans. It’s easy however to overlook such occurrences because we grow up with these local idioms.

I had the opportunity to go to the local coffee shop with a few of the foreign teachers, not being much of a fan of coffee and being perplexed with the number of teas on the menu I decided to stick to something that sounded familiar. I went with some sort of berry slushy. Unfortunately they were out so I quickly scanned the menu and saw “Chocolate Milk Shake” and ordered it. I was told not to expect a milkshake like I was used to in the US but to expect 

something different.

It was strange brownish white color and lacked much of a smell. The texture looked like crushed ice varying from slushy to coarse. It’s lack of color should have been a warning of its lack of flavor. Yet I drank my overpriced “ice shake” as I think it should be called and learned an important lesson. Just because it has an English name does not mean it is anything like what I get at home.

Welcome to China – A Fancy Dinner

I get nervous when I go to western style fancy dinners. There are always too many forks. I mean come on who really needs five forks to get yourself through a meal? Maybe I’m crazy but always had trouble grasping the concept of what fork for what dish. Naturally knowing that I’m not very good at the whole fork thing just increases my anxiety when it comes to fancy dinners. However I’ve been getting better at it and when I celebrated my birthday at a gala at a royal palace in Abu Dhabi (a story for another day) I finally conquered my fear of the many forks.

Fast forward to China. I meet my fellow teachers at the foreign teacher bus stop and we all pile into taxis to bring us to the restaurant. I’m wearing dress pants and a nice blouse as I had just finished teaching, I felt underdressed walking in front of this place, let alone going in. Yet, in was exactly where we went. The lobby was beautiful marble the most elegant restaurant I have ever been to. A fellow teacher tells the hostess what party we are with and we are lead upstairs to a private dining room. There is a dining table, a couch area, a kitchen area, and of course a private (western style!) bathroom.

Upon sitting down I first noticed the number of glasses set before me. There was a wine glass, a tea cup, a glass similar to a wine glass, a scientific beaker, and a small shot glass. Immediately I felt the same pang of fear that accompanies the sight of too many forks. However the glasses were quickly filled by the waitress that stayed with us in the private dining area the whole time. Crisis averted.

The dinner was hosted by a member of the University Community and her husband, as honored guests we were welcomed with many toasts of baijiu and were told to order anything we wanted, to feel at home. The table was quickly filled with a variety of dishes, most of which I couldn’t fully identify, however someone was always quick to tell me what it was. The sharing nature of the meal reminded me of family dinners when all my extended family gets together. In a strange way sitting with a room full of people I barely met, eating food I couldn’t identify, and drinking alcohol so very strong; I felt at home.